Not subject to any conditions, a poem by Lilly Felkner
We are told growing up that our parents love us unconditionally. I used to believe that was true, but now I’m not as sure.
To be loved without conditions means diving in with every fiber of your being. It means that nothing you do will change the fact that they love you. But without the conditions that make us who we are, who is truly loved?
My mother loves me conditionally, and I could not be more overjoyed at that. She loves me, she knows me, and she also knows she will never fully understand.
It is important to love with the knowledge that you can never truly understand.
My friends love me conditionally. The boundaries we set with each other make us stronger, make us able to tackle the world’s roughest waves and pounding seas at our worst.
I don’t want to promise unconditional love. I don’t want to promise to be unaffected by what happens around me, to promise to take good and bad in equal measure.
I want to promise conditional love. I will love when it is good, and I will love when it is bad.
To love under different circumstances is not to love unconditionally.
I want to love and be loved.
I want to be able to love without giving every piece of myself away.
I want to conditionally love myself, and maybe, if I’m lucky, someday I truly will.